I went to the basement today expecting balloons and streamers celebrating the imminent B1G football season. Instead, I entered a somber room filled with the scent of impending doom. How can this be, as the hall of fame coach in waiting, CMFT inherited a cupboard stocked full by the legend Mike Dantni. It can’t be possible to have any doubts when CMFT is about to lead them to a B1G title and a return to gifted glory! It just so happens that some sober members of the mob, wait strike that, saner members of the mob, wait strike that, one realistic member of the mob took a look at the cupboard and the results might,…, possibly, …., be troubling.
Dantni talent restocking cam
What does Sparty’s program death chart look like? Well we aren’t there quite yet since the staff has never had a padded practice, ever. How do the kids fit the system? Uh, do Zoom meetings count for installs? CMFT has solely had the team doing strength training instead of practicing these past 3 weeks. WTF does that say about his S&C? As for practice, we will see of course as rusted iron sharpens rusted iron…
Spartahhhh's Offense:
New Offensive Coordinator: Jay Johnson, OC refugee from Colorado for 1 season. He was their QB whisperer who took a senior stud QB Steven Montez, coached him up, and got him undrafted.
OL: First, all the linemen on their roster are guards. There isn’t a natural tackle on their team. Jordan Reid manned RT with guard-like athleticism and opted out and is expected to stay out. Otherwise, you are choosing across a group that has some snaps, some seniority and a significant lack of size, strength, talent (including Devontae Dobbs who showed flashes of being a total bust last year) They do have a new system, coach, nomenclature so I am sure that will help a lot.
QB: Solid group if you grade talent based on limited mid-MAC offer lists, no experience, a returning starter who has shown having a floor-like ceiling, a new system, nomenclature, a bad OL, unproven receivers and an okay running back. Simply the worst quarterback room in football (not P5, all of FCS, errr, FBS). Name one worse.
WR: Jerry Rice and Randy Moss wouldn’t help Sparty since nobody can throw them the rock. That being said, their one proven WR, Julian Barnett has been moved to CB which leaves a bunch of 3-star possession guys and no speed anywhere.
RB: Paydirt. Collins doesn’t suck. Would get snaps at Michigan. Can he play every down? He will need to.
TE: Their returning starter was lost last season to an Achilles. They have one or two others on their roster, without experience that can't block and are undersized.
Spartahhhhhh's Defense:
New Defensive Coordinator: Scottie Hazelton. Stolen from K-Stat. K-State?? Have they ever played D there?
Separated at birth. DC Scottie Hazelton and Si Robertson
Defensive Philosophy:
DL: Rumor is that Jacub Panasiuk is opting in. Good thing because they have literally nobody else on their roster who has shown they can play DE. DT has Naquan Jones. If they find a way to embed an oxygen canister in his uniform, he will be serviceable. Otherwise, I see trouble ahead in a critical position that lost Raekwon Williams and Kenny Willekes from last year's team.
LB: Ann Arbor’s Simmons is serviceable and their only senior. The only junior is Noah Harvey. He at least has played some in a backup/emergency starter role. If he doesn’t step up, then they have real problems. I can’t find a 3rd linebacker with talent on their roster and none with any experience. All underclassmen without experience or any real offer lists
CB: What does desperation look like? Julian Barnett moves to CB to cover the gaping talent void. They are looking for another body to cover the loss of Josiah Scott to the NFL. Good luck.
S: Henderson is a returning starter who showed a lack of athleticism in coverage. Dowell is another body who has snaps. Good news: they will be no worse than last year. Bad news: Last year was awful.. Hope that nobody gets hurt.
PK: Matt Coghlin. We know for sure he can count to 12 now
Predictions of the future:
Michigan gets the brave Dawgs of Spartahhhh the 2nd game of the season. I have never seen a team in a position that MSU finds itself in. A new staff put together in patchwork fashion, no spring practice, no fall camp, zoom installs of offense and defense, 3 poor recruiting classes in a row, a young roster without a quarterback and one month to pull it all together. As of this writing, they have never had a practice in pads with this staff and the past 3 weeks were spent lifting.
What they are saying:
Dantni talent restocking cam
What does Sparty’s program death chart look like? Well we aren’t there quite yet since the staff has never had a padded practice, ever. How do the kids fit the system? Uh, do Zoom meetings count for installs? CMFT has solely had the team doing strength training instead of practicing these past 3 weeks. WTF does that say about his S&C? As for practice, we will see of course as rusted iron sharpens rusted iron…
Spartahhhh's Offense:
New Offensive Coordinator: Jay Johnson, OC refugee from Colorado for 1 season. He was their QB whisperer who took a senior stud QB Steven Montez, coached him up, and got him undrafted.
Offensive philosophy.
- “We want to be very multiple, — to keep opposing defenses guessing. But at the end of the day, I think it's important that you do what you need to do to win the game… We’re hoping to be multiple and as balanced as we can and put some points on the board.” (editors note: WTF does that even mean?)
OL: First, all the linemen on their roster are guards. There isn’t a natural tackle on their team. Jordan Reid manned RT with guard-like athleticism and opted out and is expected to stay out. Otherwise, you are choosing across a group that has some snaps, some seniority and a significant lack of size, strength, talent (including Devontae Dobbs who showed flashes of being a total bust last year) They do have a new system, coach, nomenclature so I am sure that will help a lot.
QB: Solid group if you grade talent based on limited mid-MAC offer lists, no experience, a returning starter who has shown having a floor-like ceiling, a new system, nomenclature, a bad OL, unproven receivers and an okay running back. Simply the worst quarterback room in football (not P5, all of FCS, errr, FBS). Name one worse.
WR: Jerry Rice and Randy Moss wouldn’t help Sparty since nobody can throw them the rock. That being said, their one proven WR, Julian Barnett has been moved to CB which leaves a bunch of 3-star possession guys and no speed anywhere.
RB: Paydirt. Collins doesn’t suck. Would get snaps at Michigan. Can he play every down? He will need to.
TE: Their returning starter was lost last season to an Achilles. They have one or two others on their roster, without experience that can't block and are undersized.
Spartahhhhhh's Defense:
New Defensive Coordinator: Scottie Hazelton. Stolen from K-Stat. K-State?? Have they ever played D there?
Separated at birth. DC Scottie Hazelton and Si Robertson
Defensive Philosophy:
- “The overriding philosophy is really about how the players can play, do what they're good at, try to use their skills in a way that is going to showcase what they're very good at. And really, it's about getting the guys to play as hard as they can, because … really the bottom line is, when guys are playing hard and they are running, they are going to cover up for each other. I mean, when they're relentless getting to the ball and doing all those things. (editors note: Clearly a communicator with a clear vision of scheme and execution. Good luck my Spartan Dawgs...)
DL: Rumor is that Jacub Panasiuk is opting in. Good thing because they have literally nobody else on their roster who has shown they can play DE. DT has Naquan Jones. If they find a way to embed an oxygen canister in his uniform, he will be serviceable. Otherwise, I see trouble ahead in a critical position that lost Raekwon Williams and Kenny Willekes from last year's team.
LB: Ann Arbor’s Simmons is serviceable and their only senior. The only junior is Noah Harvey. He at least has played some in a backup/emergency starter role. If he doesn’t step up, then they have real problems. I can’t find a 3rd linebacker with talent on their roster and none with any experience. All underclassmen without experience or any real offer lists
CB: What does desperation look like? Julian Barnett moves to CB to cover the gaping talent void. They are looking for another body to cover the loss of Josiah Scott to the NFL. Good luck.
S: Henderson is a returning starter who showed a lack of athleticism in coverage. Dowell is another body who has snaps. Good news: they will be no worse than last year. Bad news: Last year was awful.. Hope that nobody gets hurt.
PK: Matt Coghlin. We know for sure he can count to 12 now
Predictions of the future:
Michigan gets the brave Dawgs of Spartahhhh the 2nd game of the season. I have never seen a team in a position that MSU finds itself in. A new staff put together in patchwork fashion, no spring practice, no fall camp, zoom installs of offense and defense, 3 poor recruiting classes in a row, a young roster without a quarterback and one month to pull it all together. As of this writing, they have never had a practice in pads with this staff and the past 3 weeks were spent lifting.
What they are saying:
- From their insiders:
- You're being too much of a homer. Did MSU not lose Bachie, Wilikes, Williams, etc off a team that wasn't even close to the level of Michigan?
- Why is Michigan going to be ranked and MSU predicted to only win 2-3 games?
- Recruiting rankings are important.
- Michigan has Hutchinson and Paye both returning on their DL. On what planet is MSU'S better after losing Wilikes and Williams?
- TE... Gillison is a good receiver but can't block for the life of him. Matt Dotson is a good kid but he is also a terrible blocker.
- OL... we haven't had a good one since 2015. I'll believe it when I see it when one produces.
- DL... I like Naquan Jones and Panasiuk. Slade is solid. After them, what 2 deep DL is making an impact?
- LB... I like Simmons, I like Kline, although he has to prove it as a full season starter. Who else?
- CB... Julian Barnett may be the most talented kid on the team, but do we expect him to be a top CB in his first year focusing on the position? There will be growing pains. I really hope Coach Harlon can get something out of Shakur Brown... I haven't been impressed with him at all at any point yet. After these 2, who else?
- S... After Xavier Henderson, we have Dowell and Tre Person. That's solid experience, but get one injury and this position can be an issue.
- I absolutely love Dantonio, but the recruiting had fallen off since the 2016 debacle class. "3 solid recruiting classes" under Dantonio is a really generic statement and I'd love to see you back that up with actual names while keeping the Kool Aid in the glove compartment.
Payback is a bitch CMFT. 40 days.
(They get Rutgers in game 1. Shouldn't that be during rivalry week? Because soon, maybe this year, Rutgers will be the only potential W on their schedule)
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