Good luck in your battle wolverines74. You've definitely been in my thoughts over the past months.
I'll echo what AB says about "not believing for a minute it's God's will that you are suffering." I do believe we were all made by God and I do believe in an afterlife.
But as a thought exercise: from a purely practical and analytical POV, physically immortal human beings just wouldn't work. Among other things: (1) We'd overpopulate the Earth (the Duggars alone would do it!). (2) We wouldn't progress socially (death actually promotes social progress: imagine if Americans from the 1850s were still around, they'd still advocate slavery. Often the best way to social progress is just for the misguided to gradually fade away). (3) Imagine if you were in a parking garage when a 9.0 earthquake hits and collapses the garage (you'd be trapped --- but alive --- potentially forever!).
Anyway, the point of that exercise is that physical suffering (and physical death) --- while they both suck, they sort of HAVE to be part of THIS world. I do think we are all immortal in the spiritual sense. Keep the faith, and best wishes.